An evening to spare led me to a candid documentary called “My son a pornographer”. It was classified into “sexuality” column due to the word “porn”, which is not so true.
My son the pornographer
A journey of a guilty father looking for his son now working as a story writer and pornographer in Prague. I don’t know if he makes this documentary to reconnect with his son or to release the guilt inside him (for not being a good enough dad, in his own terms). Some people even criticize the father for being selfish. Either way, what I truly value in the documentary is how candid they are in trying to communicate with each other.
The journey is very personal to both son, dad and eventually, the sister. A war of emotions in each person, leading each from self-denial to self-expression, acceptance, connection.
The dad, despite feeling disgusted with porn, still decide to explore the son’s work ground no matter what. He even tries playing a small part of his son’s movie (which dad is clearly not proud of). For many days the son and dad spend many hours a day watching actors and actresses fucking, with the father’s disgust and the son’s disinterest.
They are all trading off the vulnerability to challenge themselves, trying to make a sense of the connection. More than the tie of family and responsibility, humane concerns emerge out of the surface, giving the film so beautiful conversations:
A moment that kept staying in my head is when the dad came to meet Kole and was given a razer:
“What is this? To shave your head off ?”
“You can shave harder”
“This is gonna be crappy with the haircut”
“Okay now we go to the symbolic moment, what role does it mean?
“Well if you don’t understand then there is no point at all”
“Well, I mean it means you are turning over a new leap or what does it mean?”
“No. Just my gift to you”
And moments like that stay in us, audience’s head, the one with not much understanding of their father-and-son life, but can feel some humane moments that speak so loud.
Some ask the stepfather to “look deeper into his motives”. Well, at least he is trying and at least Kole is responding at some level. Despite of whatever motives, both are open to make a sense of something, resolve something that matter to them internally. As the comment of a 77-year-old watcher:
“Yes, they are fortunate they can talk together, something I never really achieved either with my father or my children”
Reading this makes me feel guilty myself. I can’t help thinking about my dad and mom, in which there is no effort from me whatsoever to share or truly communicate what I think, assuming they would never empathize.
and then if that is figured out…