Recently many friends of mine seek for me for advice.
One of them is a brother who just moved to Hong Kong, staying in his mom’s house. He pinged me at 2 AM, shared his miserable story in that fast-paced city. If he dares to go out finding a job and get caught by police he will be exuded to Vietnam without any chance to ever return. He feels isolated, bored and aimless.
He asked me “What should I do?”
“Damn, I myself don’t know what I should. I have my own mess without any solution in close sight. Why on earth do you think I can solve yours?”
Moreover, I pity him. I see him as weak, lack of ability to help himself, a parasite who is already 32 year old and totally wasting his life doing nothing valuable, at least for himself. He sets goals and never raises a finger to do anything to reach those.
And yet, I still fall to the trap of trying to be nice. I didn’t dare to say what I truly thought. I still listened and be all ears when he need. Seeing from a broader perspective, he is still a kind person more or less, who is lavish with friends without much analysis of “What is there for me?”. Despite all his drawbacks, he is still a person who is considerate when it comes to people. He lets loose and thanks to that, exposed himself to a myriad of experiences.
Then I thought, maybe he, similar to other people, don’t need someone to tell them what to do, but just someone to listen without judgement, someone to be there and acknowledge their pain.
If they get the advice, maybe they will just leave it be dusted to chase after same activities which lead them into troubles again.
Despite all that, just be there and listen without trying to be a fake savior is probably the best thing one person can do to the other.
You are a mess. I pity you. But just pour out, release, got that mess out of your mind. See where it leads.