Do you take yourself too seriouly? (Transcript)

Hi this is Dr. Gary. I have a question:

Do you take yourself way too seriously?

You know other people do.
And if you are one of the people that do, then what that
means is you are always kinda looking over your shoulder to see
what others people are thinking, always concern about
your behaviors to make sure no one is gonna judge you
in a way that you think is inappropriate.
Taking yourself too seriously can ruin your life
Understand this very important principle:

You have absolutely zero control over what people think, or do

You could be perfect and they could still think ill of you
Or you could be a complete nuthead and they could think
you are complete jade or the coolest thing that ever walks
We see that on Hollywood everyday.
Taking yourself too seriously is kind of a disease of a thought
process.
This very important principle lies true in the fact that
you have absolutely no control over what other people
see, say, or do.
Remember: the way other people see you is through their filter
not yours.
What other people think is pretty much none of your business.
I am going to ask you today to let that go.
Remember: what you think about you is more important
than what other people think about you.
Your opinions of yourself will drive you into correctness more
than what other people are thinking.

Because they are looking through their filters built
upon their lives and their perceptions of reality
And the worst thing is: there is no reality, it all
comes through our filters.

Every person in this earth has a different filter.
So today, quit taking yourself so seriously.
Lighten up, have some fun, and conduct yourself in
appropriate ways so that it’s never a concern to you
If you like you, that’s good enough.

**
This is Dr.Gary wishing you a great day and we will talk to
you tomorrow.

**

5/12/2016 – Some thoughts upon rewatching

I am starting to read “Self-reliance” of Emerson. Yet, I have the feeling that I will never understand the book the right way, that the book will just reinforce the illusion of utmost dependence in a turbulent interdependent world where nothing is certain, where all of us depend on each other and affect each other, for better or worse.

A few months ago I was pretty content with the message of a video called “Are you taking yourself too seriously?”. A short video in Youtube featuring a confident guy telling his audience to forget about what everyone thinks since “everyone has their own filter”. This filter can be understood as a lens to see the world and since everyone’s filter is different, people will see you differently. Easy, if you have no fixed image in people’s mind then why care? This idea is easy to grasp but difficult to apply in real life.

But now that message becomes to simple. To really not care what people think about us, at least we should have an idea about who we are. When we are still unsure who we are, we cannot stop looking for affirmation and affections from others. We are not born as rock with a solid formation and predictable content. We change everyday with a never-ending struggle of self-acceptance while still trying to define what that self is.

I am charmed by people who seem so sure of themselves, but there is still that big question in the back of my mind “How can u be?”. The admiration soon turns into suspicion that scares me away.

Echoes

A friend of mine posted this a few days ago

Screenshot

That feeling hit me tonight when I was reading an inmail sent from “Becomingminimalist.com”, an article named “Unlock freesom by simply using these 4 key areas”. 

Written by a fitness guy, the post shows how to make your personal life more agile and abundant in 4 key areas: health, productivity, possessions and personal growth. (yes, ironic but true: becoming abundant by minimalizing your life)

After all, this must be an article full of insights, gained from years of lifestyle transformation. A journey so powerful and personal to the author, but I can already see some influences from some books I read recently

“7 habits of highly effective people” by Stephen Covey

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In the classic book written in 1991 by Stephen Covey about personal growth, he spends a big section talking about 4 levels of time management. He divides time into 4 parts (quadrants) and comes to the conclusion that we should spend more time on quadrant II: important but non-urgent tasks. Basically books about setting priorities more or less just clarify this idea.

In this post, Steve is also pointing out the same thing.

The unimportant but seemingly urgent tasks will continue to get in the way unless you give yourself permission to cut them from your most productive time at work to focus on the important.

“How to get 40 hours done in 16,7” by Chris Winfield

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Chris Winfield, after reading and trying all methods available to improve productivity, “found out” that the best way to save time is to stop multitasking. To make it clearer, he refers to Pomodoro system and divide time into neat slots of “25 minutes” with 5 or 10 minutes break.

Again, Steve is pointing out the same thing.

Set a timer for 25 minutes and work, followed by 5 minutes of break. Repeat until done.

And I am sure there are many other points which relate or basically the same as other books. Of course this is not a copy, but it is a funny feeling to realize a common thread running through ideas of different authors.

Every year there are hundreds of books, podcasts, blogs which teach us how to improve our lives. With different tones and way of expression, each seems to be the “new solution” leading to a better life. In fact, are there that many?

I believe that there are only some core principles to apply, and it is such a relief to figure out.

I believe that if some information is truly important, we don’t have to make an effort to look for them. It will hit us eventually. Whatever we call them, “thread”, echoes, or like the Steve Jobs cliches “connecting the dots”.

Not updating news is not missing out. Stop buying new books is not starving your brain. Instead, it’s a core filter to let us know what is truly necessary.

**

By the way, don’t know who Chris Windfield is, but somehow he gets his writings published in some well-known magazines and even cut out a piece related to a tweet with Richard Brandson and thus, makes he “seem worth listening” by utilizing Halo effect 😉