Turning up early in the office, Nam asked me:
You didnot go anywhere in the holiday, did you?
Don’t you feel lonely?
No. Why should I?
The short conversation continued with us laughing about his new picture: a small boat dock in the middle of nowhere, heading nowhere. Something we should not laugh about, yet we did.
Loneliness is an unavoidable state of mind. No matter how upbeat we try to be, there are still some parts of our inner worlds we can’t share and even if we do, can’t be understood by others. All those thoughts and feelings formed from various experiences and contexts, are unique to each one of us. We can try to express messages and our partners can try to perceive, and still, those words just overlap. It’s like doing “hi-five”: out hands touch for a brief moment and detach. Accepting that our inner world is private is a free feeling.
What’s more scary is not lack of people around. How many times do we feel lonely in a crowd? It’s not about space either. Like a whale with a different sound frequency, loneliness happens when we can’t communicate and therefore, unable to form connection.
Before asking others to understand and lessen the ultimate loneliness inside us, try to explore our inner world and communicate with ourselves. Loneliness gets to the stark point when we can’t hamornize and console that voice deep inside us.
Listen. What does the voice tell you?