In a restaurant looking over Saigon river view, Karen and Tina pulled out their camera and kept exclaiming
“Wow it is so lovely here”
I said a half-yes , because it is true yet I was worrying what to order and the driver kept telling me to hurry up. “Damn it is late”, I thought. Nevertheless I did not rush. Beside me is an incredible pleasant lesbian couple who are adventurous at the same time, and I am losing the ability to feel the way they feel. All I could think of was how to order the right food, how to be not too late, how to stay calm and entertaining. I was ready to act.
“I wish you were not my customers, so I can be myself and still nice”, I thought.
Then after 10 minutes talking and sharing about Vietnam, they started to ask about my personal stuff, insisted:
“Do let us know when you come to Australia. We will take care of you there”
I replied “That is cool”, as this might be the 100th time somebody said something like this. Maybe they mean it, maybe they don’t. Yet what makes me very sad is that I have come to a point that I would definitely not contact them if I do come to Australia.
I kept thinking
“What can I give you in return? We are here because you bought a product in which I am the one who deliver. Without that cashflow, I would not sit here. That service includes everything wrapped up in a term called “hospitality”. I do not earn anything else. Why should you take me around while you have to buy me in Vietnam? Both you and I know that”
Then I went further to solidify that thought
“You are thinking like that because we have shared an adventure and right now you are in a good mood. When you come back and occupied with your daily lives, you will forget that I existed. Your mood disappeared and there is no relevance anymore”
I stopped there. Isn’t it clear? This bittersweet interaction?
I still still wish they were not my customers but just some random people I meet. That would be cool. But for now I have to put my Gaara face on, to face that fact.
Wait, maybe I am just overthinking. Story short: I met 2 nice people. They like me. Period.
Ha ha ha ha ha .